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Today, I left my deadbeat, dirty hippie husband, got on a plane and flew 1,200 back to my parents' house. Where I am waiting for my soon-to-be-ex-husband's co-worker to divorce HIS bitchy cunt-of-a wife and run away with me to a tropical island somewhere. The night before I got on the plane, said co-worker and I had sex in the attic above my husband's room. Nobody knew, which makes it more awesome

#537
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Shitty, better luck next time (7) - You're gonna be single forever (10)

Aug 8, 2010 11:06 PM - Uhhh - by lol

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After weeks of chat, exchanging photos, and hours of telephone conversation, we decided to meet for brunch. I got there early and saw her come in. (She was lovely.) She scanned the room and I waved. As she approached the table, her shoulders dropped and her disappointment was obvious. She ordered and we sat for an awkward 30 minutes. Her eyes never left her plate. I'd never felt so unattractive.

#533
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Shitty, better luck next time (50) - You're gonna be single forever (2)

Jul 19, 2010 05:54 PM - Uhhh - by Bing

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So I went to hang out with this guy. He was just a friend, but when we were walking in a store he BIT me! I screamed ow and he stopped. Later we were sitting outside and he bit my arm and started sucking on it. Try explaining the bleeding bite marks on y neck and the hickie on my arm to my boyfriend.... no

#526
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Shitty, better luck next time (19) - You're gonna be single forever (8)

Jun 9, 2010 09:27 PM - Uhhh - by candy cane

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I went on a first date with a guy who not only brought Jenga to the beach, but also tried to tackle and wrestle me. In public. Not in a cute way. Needless to say there was no second date.

#520
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Shitty, better luck next time (44) - You're gonna be single forever (10)

May 29, 2010 11:46 AM - Uhhh - by Anonymous

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I recently got an e-mail from a guy on a online dating site who said that I had a sexy picture. The only problem is that I don't have a picture in my profile. WTF?

#512
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Shitty, better luck next time (41) - You're gonna be single forever (12)

Apr 27, 2010 06:22 AM - Uhhh - by Rachel

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My boyfriend, friend, & I were sitting in the basement a few days ago. While my boyfriend & I started making out & getting a bit touchy, (thinking she left & being completely oblivious to the fact that she was still there on the laptop.) he started reaching up my skirt. Next thing we hear is the song "At Last" come on from the laptop & look up to see her grinning at us. Total mood killer.

#506
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Shitty, better luck next time (31) - You're gonna be single forever (58)

Apr 3, 2010 10:51 PM - Uhhh - by Anonymous

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I met this girl online, hot, and she looked just like her picture. We ended up going at it the night I met her. After messing around for a bit I tried to stick it in her ass. She's not into that, which I found out after she jumped up and got me in some kind of wresting hold. Yeah, I ended up with a torn bicep. Try explaining that away at work.

#440
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Shitty, better luck next time (17) - You're gonna be single forever (171)

Feb 9, 2010 04:40 AM - Uhhh - by CALIENTE69

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Went on a date with a guy a few years ago and it's stuck with me all this time. We did standard dinner/movie. During the movie, he just kept petting and rubbing my arm. Then, when he takes me home, I move to get out of the car, and he grabs my head and kisses me straight on the lips. Guy had epic garlic breath, and sucked my lips into his teeth. After that, every time he called, no answer.

#311
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Shitty, better luck next time (83) - You're gonna be single forever (6)

Jan 3, 2010 10:25 AM - Uhhh - by DoofusAttractant

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So one time this chick was sucking me off, right, and it was terrible. Like the worst. And I was drunk and just wanted to go home. So as she's going at it, I pull her head up to stop her, and she thinks I'm about to blow my load or some shit so she says "what a gentleman!" And I'm like "no, bitch!"

#197
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Shitty, better luck next time (9) - You're gonna be single forever (211)

Nov 29, 2009 11:50 PM - Uhhh - by jason

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I met this new guy today. He asked me to be his dirty little secret.

#193
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Shitty, better luck next time (90) - You're gonna be single forever (12)

Nov 28, 2009 08:29 AM - Uhhh - by Ashly

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