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Today, I left my deadbeat, dirty hippie husband, got on a plane and flew 1,200 back to my parents' house. Where I am waiting for my soon-to-be-ex-husband's co-worker to divorce HIS bitchy cunt-of-a wife and run away with me to a tropical island somewhere. The night before I got on the plane, said co-worker and I had sex in the attic above my husband's room. Nobody knew, which makes it more awesome

#537
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Shitty, better luck next time (7) - You're gonna be single forever (11)

Aug 8, 2010 11:06 PM - Uhhh - by lol

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After weeks of chat, exchanging photos, and hours of telephone conversation, we decided to meet for brunch. I got there early and saw her come in. (She was lovely.) She scanned the room and I waved. As she approached the table, her shoulders dropped and her disappointment was obvious. She ordered and we sat for an awkward 30 minutes. Her eyes never left her plate. I'd never felt so unattractive.

#533
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Shitty, better luck next time (50) - You're gonna be single forever (2)

Jul 19, 2010 05:54 PM - Uhhh - by Bing

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The last guy who was into me snuck up on me in the women's changing rooms and demanded sex. The one before that came up to me in the library and asked what was wrong with my body. The one before that was five years ago. FML.

#532
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Shitty, better luck next time (8) - You're gonna be single forever (19)

Jul 17, 2010 03:53 AM - Weird - by weirdo magnet

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ON FACEBOOK: hi i am a friend of your buddy he told me u have a big ass can isee it pls

#530
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Shitty, better luck next time (33) - You're gonna be single forever (4)

Jun 15, 2010 02:26 AM - Weird - by LadyLLanover

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So I went to hang out with this guy. He was just a friend, but when we were walking in a store he BIT me! I screamed ow and he stopped. Later we were sitting outside and he bit my arm and started sucking on it. Try explaining the bleeding bite marks on y neck and the hickie on my arm to my boyfriend.... no

#526
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Shitty, better luck next time (19) - You're gonna be single forever (8)

Jun 9, 2010 09:27 PM - Uhhh - by candy cane

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I went on a first date with a guy who not only brought Jenga to the beach, but also tried to tackle and wrestle me. In public. Not in a cute way. Needless to say there was no second date.

#520
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Shitty, better luck next time (44) - You're gonna be single forever (10)

May 29, 2010 11:46 AM - Uhhh - by Anonymous

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I recently got an e-mail from a guy on a online dating site who said that I had a sexy picture. The only problem is that I don't have a picture in my profile. WTF?

#512
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Shitty, better luck next time (41) - You're gonna be single forever (12)

Apr 27, 2010 06:22 AM - Uhhh - by Rachel

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My boyfriend, friend, & I were sitting in the basement a few days ago. While my boyfriend & I started making out & getting a bit touchy, (thinking she left & being completely oblivious to the fact that she was still there on the laptop.) he started reaching up my skirt. Next thing we hear is the song "At Last" come on from the laptop & look up to see her grinning at us. Total mood killer.

#506
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Shitty, better luck next time (31) - You're gonna be single forever (58)

Apr 3, 2010 10:51 PM - Uhhh - by Anonymous

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I went out with this girl I really like, had a great sushi dinner, getting to know each other some more etc. The evening as going really well, until it came time to pay. Credit card 1 - DENIED. Credit card 2 - DENIED!, Debit Card - DENIED!. She had to pay. FML.

#496
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Shitty, better luck next time (49) - You're gonna be single forever (91)

Mar 23, 2010 07:32 AM - Funny - by Darren

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I got a message on a dating site today from a guy, and all it said was 'me and my much hotter friend want to be in you at the same time' haha, do people really think that would work?

#492
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Shitty, better luck next time (72) - You're gonna be single forever (12)

Mar 15, 2010 05:39 AM - Funny - by Anabelle

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