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Today my boyfriend was going down on me and he thought that it would be a good idea to speak parseltongue to my 'chamber of secrets'. I have never felt more uncomfortable in my life.

#580
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Shitty, better luck next time (13) - You're gonna be single forever (3)

Dec 14, 2010 03:12 AM - Weird - by Voldemort

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So, I went to the movies with a boy I have been friends with for ages. About half-way through i pulled out my mints and popped one in, he motioned for one and I held it towards him, expecting an outstretched hand. He promptly engulfed the majority of my index finger and thumb, and sucked the mint from my grasp. Gross.

#577
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Shitty, better luck next time (6) - You're gonna be single forever (12)

Nov 27, 2010 08:41 PM - Weird - by ohmigohd

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So I was riding the tram home from my friend's house. That day I was wearing a shirt that said LET US FUCK. Bad idea. This old guy walks up and sits down right in front of me to tell me that he wishes that I could make him feel as pretty as I am and that he wants to be my sissy man and me his dominant woman. I'm sorry, sir, I think that would be illegal.

#571
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Shitty, better luck next time (3) - You're gonna be single forever (9)

Nov 7, 2010 12:28 PM - Uhhh - by Why.

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i was making out with my now ex-boyfriend, he stopped and looked at me and scremed. i looked at him and screemed. he had a bloody nose. he thought i had a bloody nose. he had had a bloody nose and gotten it all over my face.

#564
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Shitty, better luck next time (47) - You're gonna be single forever (9)

Oct 17, 2010 11:47 PM - Funny - by Anonymous

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Today, I left my deadbeat, dirty hippie husband, got on a plane and flew 1,200 back to my parents' house. Where I am waiting for my soon-to-be-ex-husband's co-worker to divorce HIS bitchy cunt-of-a wife and run away with me to a tropical island somewhere. The night before I got on the plane, said co-worker and I had sex in the attic above my husband's room. Nobody knew, which makes it more awesome

#537
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Shitty, better luck next time (13) - You're gonna be single forever (88)

Aug 8, 2010 03:06 PM - Uhhh - by lol

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After weeks of chat, exchanging photos, and hours of telephone conversation, we decided to meet for brunch. I got there early and saw her come in. (She was lovely.) She scanned the room and I waved. As she approached the table, her shoulders dropped and her disappointment was obvious. She ordered and we sat for an awkward 30 minutes. Her eyes never left her plate. I'd never felt so unattractive.

#533
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Shitty, better luck next time (154) - You're gonna be single forever (6)

Jul 19, 2010 09:54 AM - Uhhh - by Bing

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The last guy who was into me snuck up on me in the women's changing rooms and demanded sex. The one before that came up to me in the library and asked what was wrong with my body. The one before that was five years ago. FML.

#532
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Shitty, better luck next time (26) - You're gonna be single forever (59)

Jul 16, 2010 07:53 PM - Weird - by weirdo magnet

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ON FACEBOOK: hi i am a friend of your buddy he told me u have a big ass can isee it pls

#530
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Shitty, better luck next time (85) - You're gonna be single forever (10)

Jun 14, 2010 06:26 PM - Weird - by LadyLLanover

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So I went to hang out with this guy. He was just a friend, but when we were walking in a store he BIT me! I screamed ow and he stopped. Later we were sitting outside and he bit my arm and started sucking on it. Try explaining the bleeding bite marks on y neck and the hickie on my arm to my boyfriend.... no

#526
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Shitty, better luck next time (57) - You're gonna be single forever (11)

Jun 9, 2010 01:27 PM - Uhhh - by candy cane

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I went on a first date with a guy who not only brought Jenga to the beach, but also tried to tackle and wrestle me. In public. Not in a cute way. Needless to say there was no second date.

#520
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Shitty, better luck next time (81) - You're gonna be single forever (12)

May 29, 2010 03:46 AM - Uhhh - by Anonymous

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